Remarkable and Wonderful

Tempers were flaring, nasty text messages were being sent back and forth. Finally the phone rang, caller ID told me who it was. I was tempted not to answer. I hate conflict. What I hate more is drawn out conflict so I picked up the phone and said “hello”. I said some terrible things, she said terrible things back. She listened to me. I listened to her. She reminded me of the 80/20 rule we have.

We don’t have to agree with everything we do as individuals. We are supposed to allow for a 20% error in our behaviors. 20% of behavior in which we can purposely misbehave or mistakenly annoy the other and the other has to let it go. I told her that was fair. Ok, I will put this under the 20% and I apologized.

As tough as it was at the time, the more time that went past the guiltier I felt. Was it even necessary to get angry? Probably not to the extent I brought it too. She was right, sure I didn’t agree with happened but on the same hand she hardly has used her share of the 20%. Recently she was probably at about 5%, so she deserved some slack. I probably was at 30 or 40% and she hasn’t said a thing. In addition, I am always over that 20% rule. Every once in awhile she will reign me back within 20% range and my personality will stretch it to the limits in just a short time. Ok, I am fine now. The 80/20 rule. We don’t have to expect perfection only 80% of the time, especially the day before Father’s Day.

That afternoon Becca told me “you are getting a Father’s Day gift”. I asked her if it was something I wear, “no” she says. I asked her if it was camouflage, “no” she says. I asked her if it was something I can use for the chickens. She said “no”, then Justin spoke up and said “yes you can!”. Becca changed her answer to “yes, actually you can”. I had no idea.

The following morning the kids woke me up and led me into the kitchen. There on the table was a rifle! A Mossberg .17 caliber. I was taken so off-guard, how wonderful of a surprise. I laughed, because Justin said I could use it for chickens… I guess I could shoot them couldn’t I? How funny! This gift was special. Not only did I not ask for it, other than one time I mentioned about the good deal of a sale and I suggested to a friend on facebook to buy one. I didn’t expect one myself even though I really did want one. In addition, Kari stopped to buy it during our phone conversation I mentioned earlier. Really? I am a lucky person. Don’t ever let me forget that.

I took Friday off from work. I had a ton of homework to get done, plus it seemed I have been so busy at work and school that I hardly had time with the kids. We decided on a morning visit to Fawn-Doe-Rosa in Taylors Falls. Becca packed diapers for Julia while I did other chores around the house and then we took off. The drive there was so peaceful. The kids talked like grown-ups. We talked about driving and careers and mountains.

Fawn-Doe-Rosa was nearly empty when we got there. We fed the deer out of our hands and we made the jaunt around the park. It took about an hour, then we all used the potty. I wanted to stay longer to “get more for our money” but then I thought, no – we are done. We left and everybody was in a good mood. We shared a root beer on the way home. We stopped at a fireworks store. Yes, not the right thing to do but something I have never done in my life. We purchased some fireworks and the past couple of evenings we have been enjoying our own personal show.

On the drive home from Taylors Falls I missed the turn-off to Harris. We ended up in North Branch. I turned onto the freeway heading north bound. I got into the left lane and kicked it down and set the cruise at a rather high speed. I passed cars and trucks when all of a sudden I gained on a truck and then it swerved quickly to the right. I saw it… an extension ladder lying in the road. I too swerved while looking for others locations. I was safe. I missed it and missed all other traffic too. Whew, close one!

That ladder had been hit a few times. It was damaged, a lot. I thought about stopping to move it. Traffic was heavy. I had 3 kids with me and I thought about people getting hit by traffic when trying things like that. I put my own life and my kids’ life first and I didn’t stop to remove the ladder. Had I been alone, yes, but not today. The ladder had to be removed by someone else.

A million things went on in my mind over the next 30 minutes on I-35. The kids jabbered and fought a little. We looked at “cool trucks” as we passed them. We listened to music. We talked. Then it happened. It happened so quickly, again, catching me off guard.

Becca shouted “Dad, Look!”. I frantically looked, my eyes darting around looking for danger. I saw nothing. I said “what?”. She told me to look at that truck and pointed out a pick-up that had a ladder strapped to one side and on the other side was a loose strap flapping in the wind. She said “I bet that truck is missing a ladder!”. She said “talk to them!”. I laughed and agreed that it probably was the truck that lost the ladder. She kept yelling at me to call them as we passed by them, then she read the phone number to me off the side of their truck! What an amazingly smart and attentive child. She is amazing. Amazingly quick.

Again, I reasoned with her on the probabilities of the ladder belonging to that driver and also that the ladder was no good anymore and the time and distance factor in-between the ladder and our current location. I told her it was best to let it be, we can’t save the world today. We went canoeing instead of saving the world from all their troubles. Today was going to be a day for us; we looked at water bugs and paddled the pond looking at our own reflections.

Remarkable kids. Wonderful wife.