The Goal of the $20 bucks, or Maybe it was $10 bucks

Have you ever had a personal goal, maybe “Learning how to play guitar.” or maybe it’s “Visiting every U.S. state.” I have many personal goals. I am currently working on one of them, I have a couple goals I have scratched from my goal list for various reasons and I have goals that I have left stagnant – just an irritation in the back of my mind. Enough irritation to annoy me and to keep that steady reminder; thinking that I am just that lazy; that lazy where I cannot pursue a personal goal.

I once had a goal to pursue law school. I made progress, however I was unsure of the profession. I decided one day that I simply must try it. I set a goal of first taking the LSAT. I studied and set a goal that I mentally must achieve prior to even thinking about picking a law school to chase after. I studied fairly intensely and soaked up a good summer doing so. I talked with several lawyers, whom I was seeking advice from. I took the LSAT and was actually saddened by the results. I was abit under the desired score I had wished for. Sure, I possibly could have still attempted to try to get admitted into law school but in my mind “I tried, I failed, move on.” I have no hard feelings.

I took my ambition and was accepted into the graduate engineering program instead. I also find that interesting. I believe I have a pretty good sense of ethics and I probably am not “that stupid” of a person – But I find it humorous that according to statistics I wouldn’t excel in a field of studying law (where ethics and communication play a big part), however I can study engineering at the grad level (I once was in special education for math during Jr high). How about that for American education, huh? Come on; laugh.

At a class in my grad school a small group of us put together a presentation. We started speaking and presenting on our topic. As our group introduced ourselves a member dug out a $20 bill from his pocket, or maybe it was a $10 bill. He held it up into the air and asked if anybody wanted it. Here, in front of a classroom packed full of grad students there were echoes and chants back from students affirming their desire to have the cash. My group member asked the question again, “Who wants this?” Again, voices came across the room and this time even louder. My group member asked it again, and again, finally one student in the front slowly stood up and slowly reached out in attempt to take the cash from my group member’s hand. He handed him the money. The audience looked with surprised faces.

The point of this is that you can want a lot of things but wanting and actually doing are different things. Out of all these students, one actually stood up and pursued his goal of wanting that money. He earned it. He stood up and took what was offered to him while all the others sat back in their chairs and declared their desire, yet failed at moving towards their goal.

I have always wanted to earn my pilots license. It’s just something I have interest in. Twice I have attempted and twice I have failed in completing the course work. Last week I had that nagging voice in the back of my mind telling me “I failed”. I reconsidered my options.

Ok, so I have had this incredible battle with migraine headaches, which caused me to seizure when I was 13 years old. At the time they diagnosed me as an epileptic. As I grew older I continued the battle with headaches with no major problems until I was in my late 20’s. Again, a change for the worse and my headaches turned into another form, which hindered my flying lesson goal again. The good news is at that time they linked a “probability” of headaches causing the seizure from years back. Again, I was put on a medicine that controls my blood pressure, which in return controlled my migraines – somewhat. The downfall with this medicine is it helped contribute to weight gain being it was a beta-blocker. Change was needed and to make a Long story short . . . Today I am carrying 120 pounds less weight, dropping from 330 pounds to 210 pounds, and am completely off all medicines and haven’t had a single migraine in over 9 months.

My nagging goal of completing flight school continues, today I had an EEG which hopefully will show a clear map to clearing my past medical record so I can pass my flight medical exam. A prayer would help here – I am excited to move forward.

Although I just noticed a brown spot below the pupil of my eye… Anybody want to fly with a “one-eyed” pilot? I need to get it checked out. Regardless, passing the flight exam or less one eye I intend on having some fun with this goal and cannot wait to bring the kids into the air again. I really want to show them I can get this $10 bucks. I really want to show myself that I can get that money. I will take a picture of me holding it, soon.

Peace